


Three Long Seasons

by kquail



Category: Harvest Moon: Back To Nature, Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town
Genre: Angst, Distance, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-04-05 07:58:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19044367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kquail/pseuds/kquail
Summary: Adjusting to life in Mineral Town hasn't been easy for Cliff. After finding an unlikely source of strength and solace in Kai's arms, how will he cope at the end of summer?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For Cath, who gave me the inspiration.

It had been a long summer in some ways, but it was drawing to a close all too quickly. Cliff lifted his hand and let the sand pour through his fingers and back onto the beach as he watched the waves crash in front of him. Tomorrow, Kai would be riding those waves in a little boat, and the light that had made his days more bearable lately would be gone, far away. This golden, Mineral Beach sunset was the last that Kai would see for three whole seasons.

He sighed softly to himself. He had known all along that Kai would have to leave, that whatever they had together could only last until the end of the season, but the optimism and excitement he’d felt when they first kissed on the day of his birthday had tricked him into thinking summer would last forever.

Oh, but that kiss – and everything that followed – had been more than worth it.

He’d started his birthday alone and miserable, just like nearly every other day since moving to this cursed town. Fresh starts quickly became stale when nobody bothered talking to you, and it grew increasingly obvious that there was nothing in Mineral Town for him either, just like everywhere else he'd tried to make a life for himself.

After lying restlessly in bed since before the sun had risen, he’d got up as soon as the winery opened and bought something strong to drink on the beach. He didn’t normally drink; the past had been unkind, and he had far too many bad memories associated with it. But this first, lonely birthday in Mineral Town was too much for a sober man to take. So he’d taken his wine to the beach and sat with his legs dangling over the edge of the pier, staring at the sea for hours.

Sometime around lunch, Kai appeared behind him, startling him with a lively greeting.

“You look like you could use some cheering up, so I brought you some ice cream.” He passed Cliff an enormous cone, covered in syrup and sprinkles. “But don’t worry – it’s on the house,” he added with a wink.

Cliff’s head was bowed, but he put down the half-empty wine bottle and took it gratefully. “Are you sure I deserve this?” He cleared his throat. “Uh, I mean, thank you.”

“Cliff, right?” said Kai, as he sat down next to him. “I’m Kai. I come here every summer for a change of scenery. I love this place, and I’m sure you’ll grow to love it too.”

“I’m not so sure,” said Cliff, tentatively licking the ice-cream. It was good, cold and sweet on his tongue. “I came here to find… Something. I don’t know. But I’m just as lonely as ever, and there’s nothing to do here. I have no purpose, no direction. Happy birthday to me, I guess.”

Kai said nothing for a moment, just joined Cliff in gazing out into the ocean. Then he turned to him, smiled gently, and said, “Why don’t you join me later for something to eat in my cabin? I’m not a bad cook, you know. We can talk if you want, or get a little tipsy, or even just play some games.”

“R-really?” Cliff stammered. He felt his cheeks flush a sweet pink, and it wasn’t from the wine. After so little genuine human connection, he was a sucker for even the smallest bit of kindness.

Kai leaned closer. His lips were inches from Cliff’s ear, and his warm breath tickled his neck as he whispered, “You might get more than just a hot meal if you play your cards right.”

Cliff shivered as Kai’s deep voice made all the hairs on his neck stand up on end. He drew away from Kai sharply, blinking at him, wondering what he could possibly mean. Well, not wondering _exactly_ ; the meaning to the words was quite clear, but Cliff couldn’t bring himself to believe that someone would be interested in him like _that_ , and be so forward about it to boot.

“W-what?”

Kai grinned. “You heard me.”

His face was so tantalisingly close; Cliff’s eyes flickered involuntarily towards the full, smiling lips. He wondered if Kai was making fun of him – it wouldn’t have been the first time someone had gone to great lengths to humiliate him – but his dark brown eyes were so damn earnest, and his smile so welcoming.

“Well, my lunch break is over – I’d best get back to the restaurant. I’ll come get you later, okay?”

Cliff nodded, and watched as Kai stood up and began to walk back down the pier. After a few steps, he stopped and turned around.

“I should probably tell you that you have ice-cream on your nose,” he said, chuckling. “It looks very cute, but I don’t want you to be embarrassed if you see anyone else.”

Cliff dabbed a finger at the tip of his nose, then looked back up at Kai.

“Hmm, not quite…” Laughing, Kai stepped forward, producing a handkerchief from his pocket. He kneeled down in front of Cliff, and wiped away the sticky ice-cream. “There. Much better.”

Cliff stared at him for a moment. As Kai double-checked his handiwork, their faces were so close together that each could feel the other’s breath, even through the gentle sea breeze. Cliff felt extremely warm all of a sudden, and he met Kai’s suddenly serious gaze.

Kai brushed a strand of brown hair out of Cliff’s face, then out of nowhere his lips brushed against Cliff’s; with a warm twinge of desire, Cliff’s hand shot out, tangled itself in Kai’s bandana, and pulled him closer. For an intense moment, both men forgot that they were out in the open, where anyone could wander onto the beach and see them, and lost themselves in the sweet taste of ice-cream and syrup on each other’s tongues.

Panting, Kai drew back, and quickly glanced over his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what came over me just then.”

“M-me neither.” Cliff cleared his throat, and returned to looking off into the distance, though there was a small smile dancing across his lips.

“So, I’ll see you later?”

Cliff nodded. “Thank you, Kai.”

He’d spent the rest of the day sipping more slowly at his wine with fewer sorrows to drown, drumming impatiently on the wood of the pier as he stewed in anticipation and nervous lust. He nearly talked himself out of seeing Kai more than once; he found it so hard to believe what had happened that he wondered if he’d fallen asleep and dreamed it – and he still wasn’t totally convinced that Kai wasn’t just very committed to a practical joke of some sort.

But he didn’t talk himself out of it, and Kai came to meet him just as he’d said he would, and then they went immediately to Kai’s shack. Almost as soon as the door was closed (and carefully locked), they were entangled in each other’s arms again, kissing furiously, recklessly, both wound up after a day of waiting.

Cliff didn’t usually kiss near strangers either, but that birthday had turned out to be rather an unusual day.

After a while, the two of them broke into nervous laughter, and Kai pulled away to prepare some food. They shared another bottle of wine and talked about family, love, and loss. They talked about a lot of other things too; Cliff hadn’t talked so much to anyone since he’d moved to Mineral Town. He’d been suffocating in his own depression all this time, and Kai was an oxygen mask.

He spent the whole night with Kai, pouring his heart out between frantic, desperate kisses that both of them seemed to need. It was the first night he didn’t regret coming to that town, and the first night of many that he slept in Kai’s bed.

And now, he thought bitterly – now his oxygen mask was about to leave for three long seasons. A tear rolled down his cheek as he scrunched another handful of sand in his fingers. His shoulders started to shake as angry sobs took over him.

Why had he let this happen? It was doomed from the start. Even _knowing_ it was doomed, he’d allowed himself to fall for Kai with reckless, gleeful abandon. His body burned with the ghosts of Kai’s gentle touches as he remembered them – all the kisses stolen when nobody was looking, the way he held his hand as fireworks lit up the beach at the festival, all of the places his mouth had graced when they were alone in the dark…

He loved it; he would cherish all of those memories as long as he lived. But he hated himself, more than anything, for inflicting all this pain upon his own heart.

He growled to himself, threw a lump of sand towards the sea, then punched the damp sand beside him with a tearful roar, over and over again. Pain shot up his wrist and his knuckles throbbed, but at least it was something other than the anguish of knowing that Kai would be gone tomorrow.

Footsteps padded through the sand behind him, but he barely noticed until a low, quiet voice called out his name.

He turned around with a sharp intake of breath. “K-Kai. You startled me,” he muttered, seized with shame at the fist-shaped dents in the sand beneath him.

“I said I’d be here, didn’t I? I could never leave without saying goodbye.”


	2. Chapter 2

_Why do you have to leave at all?_

But Cliff couldn’t have asked that; he already knew the answer. Kai had a life outside of Mineral Town, one that he couldn’t just abandon on a whim to stay with some loser with no future, just because he liked the sex.

“I almost wish you hadn’t come,” said Cliff, still staring into the sea. “It makes everything feel more real.”

The sun was just starting to dip below the calm waters on the horizon. He wondered how the waves could be so serene on a day like this; if only they were stormy, jagged and frothy as they raged against the old wood of the pier, perhaps he would have felt comforted, as though he weren’t the only one in turmoil. But as it was, he felt almost mocked by their tranquillity.

Kai flopped down on the sand next to Cliff. One of his hands was behind his head, fiddling with the knot of his bandana. His shoulders sagged as he exhaled slowly.

“Admittedly this is… Much harder than I expected it to be.”

Cliff crumpled. “Pfft,” he scoffed. “What, did you expect it to be easy?”

“No, not at all.” Kai frowned, and looked towards the last sliver of orange reflected in the ocean. “This isn’t coming out right. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Is that all you can say?” Cliff surreptitiously wiped a hot tear away from his cheek. He was shaking with a fiery, bitter rage, and if Kai wasn’t careful he’d end up taking the brunt of it. “Did any of this mean _anything_ to you?”

He turned to face Kai properly for the first time since he’d arrived. Kai’s fingers were teasing ever more frantically at that knot behind his head, and his brows were dark and creased with worry. Cliff softened slightly; at least he had the decency to look troubled.

“This summer has been really special. I mean it,” said Kai softly. “I admit, I wasn’t exactly looking for anything serious that first night. I just… thought I might be able to cheer you up, you know? It was supposed to be fun, and it didn’t _have_ to mean anything.” A flicker of a smile danced over nervous lips. “But it did. It meant a lot.”

“I’m so stupid,” said Cliff, as more tears began to tumble down his cheeks. The anger that had been threatening to explode out of him retreated, settling quietly at the pit of his stomach as it transformed into self-hatred. “All along, I knew this evening would have to come, but it always seemed so blissfully far away… Part of some abstract future. I allowed myself to get caught up in the moment without a care for the misery it would bring now.”

Kai chuckled. “This summer seems to have gone far too quickly for me too.” He put a tentative hand on top of Cliff’s. “Still, just because the summer’s over… It doesn’t mean that I don’t care.”

Cliff sighed, as Kai’s arm snaked its way around his waist. “I know,” he murmured, allowing himself to relax into the warm embrace. “I know, and in a way, that makes it even harder.”

Kai’s other hand finally dropped from behind his head, and rummaged in his pocket for a moment. “Here,” he said, holding out a folded piece of paper between his index and middle finger. “There’s a post-box next to the supermarket, so here’s an address you can write to. And… well, there’s a phone in the inn, so if you ever want to call, here’s my number.”

Cliff’s eyes widened, and he took the folded paper with a trembling hand. “Th-thank you. I don’t like using the phone, but…”

“I understand. Hmm.” Kai’s arm squeezed gently around Cliff. “I would also understand if you don’t get in touch. If it hurts too much or if you change your mind… Three seasons is a long time. There’s a lot that could happen in three seasons, and I don’t want you to miss out on anything because you’re waiting around for me.”

Cliff nodded, but the words felt like a knife to the gut. “You – you don’t have to wait for me, either. Not that I… I’m sure you could do better than me anyway. You must meet a lot of people.”

Kai squeezed him again, tightly this time. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” He raised his other hand, ran it lightly over Cliff’s delicate jawbone. “Over the course of this summer, I’ve come to like you a lot. I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to tell you that before you believe me, but it’s true. When I return next year, I fully intend to find you as soon as my feet touch down on that pier, you understand me?”

“Then why…?”

Cliff’s gaze flickered down towards Kai’s lips, and watched them form his reply.

“You moved to this town for a fresh start, right? Well, you need the freedom to be able to take whatever opportunities that come your way.”

He nodded vacantly at the words, but he was so distracted by those soft, full lips they didn’t quite register. They were good words, comforting, but there were other things on his mind. He leaned forward, and with a sharp intake of breath, Kai kissed him. He tried not to think about this being the last time he’d get to feel his heart flutter like this, and focussed instead on the firm but gentle movements of Kai’s lips, the desperation in his quiet moans, the knowledge that at this very moment they were alone on the beach.

Between heavy, breathy kisses, Kai turned, swung his leg over Cliff and held him close. Cliff sank down onto his back in the sand while Kai’s weight followed, pressing down upon him as the kisses grew rougher. The sand was cool now that the sun had set, and whenever Kai drew back for air, Cliff could see a panorama of stars above them.

“It’s a beautiful night,” he whispered, before Kai’s mouth closed over his again.

Kai’s brown eyes twinkled through the darkness when he finally pulled away, and leaned his weight backwards so that he was kneeling with Cliff between his thighs. He looked up at the night sky, then smiled back down at Cliff.

“It is a beautiful night,” he agreed. “I’m glad that we can share one last night together like this, so that I’ll have something beautiful to remember if you move on before I come back.”

Cliff laughed, but he was blushing furiously. “A little cheesy, but I’ll take it.” He shuffled into an upright position, to meet Kai’s eyes. There was a strange urgency to his voice as he said, “I will write, Kai. I promise.”

Kai nodded, and kissed him lightly again. “You don’t have to make me any promises.”

“I just…” Cliff scrunched his eyes closed. “I’ve never said this to anyone before. I think I…” _love you_. But the words didn’t come out. His mind was almost screaming them, over and over again, but his jaw was paralysed.

“Hey, what do you say we get an early night tonight?” Kai whispered. “Goodbyes are hard… We could save them until tomorrow morning.”

Cliff smiled weakly. If only he could have…

“That sounds wonderful.”

*

He never did manage to say those words. Not in the heat of the night, when they were tangled together under the damp cotton sheet, fingers tracing over the familiar curves of the other’s body, recording every dimple and shape for memory’s sake. Not afterwards, when Kai curled into him, and spoke of all the things he would miss about Mineral Town, and then all of the things he’d miss about one particular resident thereof. Even when Kai’s eyes closed, and his breathing settled into a slow, deep rhythm, Cliff couldn’t bring himself to say them aloud.

By the morning, all he could feel was a deep melancholy, and besides, Kai seemed to be in a hurry to get all of his things ready to leave. Cliff didn’t want his feelings to get in the way of Kai’s journey; their last, passionate kiss in that room in the inn seemed to untangle more threads than it tied up, leaving only a painful, loose end in its wake.


	3. Chapter 3

The first few days of Autumn were a blur. Cliff didn’t even leave his room, until Carter started to worry and came looking for him on the third day. He managed to drag himself out of bed in time to spend the afternoon helping out in the church, carefully sidestepping any of Carter’s attempts to find out what was wrong.

He said he was fine, that the change in the seasons often made him tired, but he wasn’t fooling anyone. He saw those worried glances Carter shot his way whenever he thought he wasn’t looking, and when the priest gave him three meals’ worth of mushroom rice balls at the end of the day, he knew that he hadn’t really made too many “by accident.” Carter was a good man, and Cliff appreciated the help, but he still felt like a burden, more so than ever before.

Ann had picked up on the dark clouds surrounding him too.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked out of the blue one day, as Cliff brushed past her on his way to church.

He froze for a moment, and stared at her.

“You really started to seem like you were settling in towards the end of the summer,” she said, absent-mindedly dusting the picture frames in the corridor with a fluffy feather duster. She raised her eyebrows and blinked as a cloud of dust billowed out around her, then turned to face Cliff properly. “I was glad to see you looking almost happy for a change. I don’t know if something’s happened, but if you need anything – a friendly ear, a fresh pot of tea, whatever – let me know, okay?”

He felt his cheeks flush with warmth. “Th-thank you,” he stammered. “It’s very kind of you, but I…”

Ann smiled. A strand of bright orange hair had escaped her plait, and she was twirling it around her finger. “There was something else, too…”

“What’s wrong?” Cliff’s heart sank, and his mind suddenly began to race with all kinds of worries. Had he outstayed his welcome at the inn? Had he forgotten to pay his board?

“Nothing’s _wrong_ ,” she said, with a shy, subtle upturn to her lips. “It’s just that now we’ve all recovered from whatever Karen put in that cooking pot the other day, the Full Moon festival is coming up. The view from Mother’s peak is always so pretty, and I wondered if you might like to accompany me. I could even make us a picnic?”

With each kind word in her sweet, hopeful voice, Cliff’s eyes stung a little more until he couldn’t bear it any longer.

“I… I’m sorry,” he said flatly. “I can’t.”

He turned and hurried down the stairs. He heard her call after him once, with hurt and confusion in her voice, but he kept walking until he was safely outside. He started towards the church, but changed path at the last moment and headed for the beach instead.

The beach felt bleak on that windy, cloudy Autumn day. The grey sea was hurling itself against the pier and foaming as it crashed onto the damp sand. Perhaps the sea had not been taunting Cliff the day before Kai left; perhaps it had known that there were darker days and stormier waters to come. Cliff sat on the edge of the pier. The choppy waves spat and sprayed at his dangling legs, but he barely noticed.

Ann had been a constant, almost intrusively helpful presence ever since he’d taken up residence in the inn. She didn’t have to chat to him as she cleaned, or bring him cups of warm tea whenever she put the kettle on for herself, but she often did. He was grateful in a way, but he didn’t need her pity.

Still, she’d deserved better than a careless rejection like that.

His mind flashed back to when Kai had come calling for him late in the afternoon one sunny summer’s day. He’d closed his café an hour or so early and, armed with a large hamper full of food, he’d dragged Cliff away from his planned evening of moping in his room and up Mother’s hill.

Cliff had realised just how unfit he was on that walk; Kai bounded effortlessly up the rocky path through the forest and past the lake while he struggled to catch his breath, but it was pleasant regardless. By the time they got to the peak, it was just about time for the sun to set. Kai laid out a soft picnic blanket and surrounded it with a circle of tealights, almost as though he was preparing for some kind of dark magical ritual.

He remembered sitting cross-legged, just close enough to the edge to see the trees below, with Kai’s arms and legs wrapped around him, watching the sun paint gorgeous streaks of glowing colours across the sky as it dipped below the horizon. He remembered the comfort, the safety of Kai’s warmth behind him, and the cool breeze blowing through his clothes as he sat on that lonely pier felt all the harsher.

He shivered, and looked out at the stormy sea. He wondered where Kai was now and what the weather was like there. He had to wonder about such trivialities; questions like, _Does he miss me as much as I do him?_ could have devastating answers, and he wasn’t ready for those.

He remembered the stars, twinkling above them as they nibbled at cold pizza bites and drank pineapple juice from plastic wine glasses. There were _so many_ stars, even compared to the view from modestly-lit Mineral Town, and the crescent moon was beautiful too, a thin silver sliver against the velvety black of the sky. It wasn’t as bright or as big as the full moon, but it seemed perfect when shared with Kai.

Heavy kisses, excited exploratory hands… the smooth blanket against his back, laughter as his hair nearly tumbled into one of the candles… Kai’s warm skin, the cooling breeze against their damp, writhing bodies… echoes of stifled moans into the night, a satisfied sigh as they collapsed onto the ground afterwards. With such vivid memories carved into his mind, how could he ever bear to return to the peak so soon?

Ann was kind, and pretty in her own, understated sort of way, but she wasn’t Kai. She could make some of those cookies she like to bake, bring her own picnic hamper, and take him to the summit for the festival if she wanted, but he’d only spend the night pining for what could have been. It wouldn’t be fair on either of them.

At least, that’s what Cliff told himself.


	4. Chapter 4

The day of the Full Moon festival came, and as he made his way back from an afternoon at church, Cliff realised that he’d not spoken to Ann since their awkward meeting in the corridor.

He’d overheard Karen the previous night – the whole of Mineral Town had, probably – drunkenly rambling about how much she was looking forward to her date with Rick tonight. He winced in second-hand embarrassment as he wondered just how much of that conversation she actually remembered. She must have put away at least two bottles by the time she left.

When he’d stepped outside for a little air before going to sleep, he’d heard Ann sobbing quietly as she cleaned up the bar for the night. He was sure that it was his fault. But when she’d turned around and noticed him on his way back in, she’d quickly tried to rub away any evidence of her tears before pointedly ignoring him.

He sighed as he approached the door to the inn, and steeled himself. There was nothing for it – he had to apologise and make it up to her somehow.

When he got inside, Karen was at the bar, massaging her head as she sipped on a small glass of red, while Ann gritted her teeth and listened to more of her gushing excitement. Doug was quietly cataloguing the colourful bottles on the shelf behind the bar, glancing over at his daughter every so often with a sympathetic expression. Cliff’s every instinct was telling him to turn around, go straight back out of that door and run, but he forced himself to put one foot in front of the other until he was next to Karen.

“…Can I help you?” Karen asked, an eyebrow raised.

Ignoring her, Cliff cut straight to it before his courage faltered. “Ann. C-can I talk to you? Outside, please.”

Karen’s eyes widened, and she pursed her lips as though she was trying _really_ hard not to say anything. Ann scowled at her briefly, then turned to Cliff.

“Okay, sure. Let’s talk.” She dropped the tea towel she’d been fiddling with down on the top of the bar, and flicked her plait over her shoulder as though she really meant business, then gestured towards the door. “Lead the way.”

As soon as they were outside, Ann tapping her foot impatiently on the cobbled street, Cliff scrunched his eyes closed and blurted, “I didn’t mean to be so harsh the other day. It sort of… came out wrong. I’m sorry, Ann.”

“It was… unexpected, to be honest. You’re shy – I get that – but you didn’t have to be so rude.” Her face and voice quickly softened. “I accept your apology, though.” She paused, studying him for a moment. “Are you _sure_ there’s nothing I can help with?”

Cliff exhaled slowly. “Can you keep a secret?”

Ann mimed zipping her mouth closed. “Come on, I’m not Karen… Or Manna, for that matter, or...” She shook her head. “What I mean is, there are a lot of gossips in this town, but I’m not one of them. So, what’s up?”

“I…” Cliff hesitated. He wished he hadn’t said anything. He was all ready to dismiss the topic and tell her that it wasn’t really important, but there was a genuine concern in her eyes that told him perhaps she would understand. “I spent a lot of time with Kai over the summer, and I’ve been missing him. That’s all.”

“What does that have to do with the Full Mo… Oh.” Ann trailed off, and her cheeks flushed a deep red. “ _Oh_ , I see. Well, I suppose that it makes sense you wouldn’t want to… you know, accompany me to the peak.”

Cliff winced as she visibly deflated.

“You’re very kind, Ann, and it’s meant a lot to me while I’ve been here. It’s not that I don’t like spending time with you, just…”

“No, uh, I get it,” she said, flustered.

“I-I’m sorry,” Cliff stammered, like a fish floundering as Greg reeled it in.

Ann turned abruptly towards the door, then paused. “It’s okay, Cliff. I made arrangements with Popuri instead – you know, a girls’ night. I’ll see you around.”

Just as she tried to push open the door, Karen appeared and nearly bumped into her on the way out. Her cheeks were glowing pink from wine, and she flashed Ann a wide smile. “Are you two going up to the peak, then?”

“I told you, I’m going with Popuri!” said Ann hotly, before hurrying back inside.

Karen raised an eyebrow at Cliff, before shrugging and making her way down the narrow street in the vague direction of the Poultry Farm.

*

A few days later, Cliff found himself sitting on a barstool, fiddling with the crumpled piece of paper with Kai’s number on it as he tried to work up the courage to head over to the phone. It had been more than half a season already, and he still hadn’t managed to call. There was always some excuse. It’s too late, phone calls are expensive, it’s too early, someone else was using the phone… But he knew the real reason.

_What if Kai doesn’t want to hear from me?_

He balled up a white-knuckled fist, downed the shot of liquid courage he’d order from Doug, and walked the two feet or so to the phone. He smoothed out the paper and, with trembling hands, dialled the number.

“Hello?” Kai’s cheerful voice answered almost instantly.

“H-hi.”

There was a pause. Cliff’s heart pounded as he waited for what felt like an eternity for Kai to respond.

“Cliff! Wow, I thought you’d never get round to calling… How are things going?”

Grinning like an idiot, Cliff breathed a sigh of relief. Kai sounded _happy_.

“I’m okay, actually. I just… I wanted to call to let you know that I got a job here in Mineral Town. I was starting to worry that I’d run out of money, but if this works out… Well, I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, but...”

“So you’ll still be around when I get back?”

Cliff nodded, grateful that Kai had somehow read the intent behind his garbled words. “Yeah, I really hope so.”

“I’m glad.” There was a brief, solemn silence, then, “I miss you, Cliff. I always miss Mineral Town, to tell you the truth, but it’s different this time. It feels a bit like a part of me is missing, as though I’ve left it back there with you.”

 _It feels as though you took a part of me with you in return._ The words echoed through Cliff’s head, but his lips somehow refused to form them.

“So, uh, anyway, what else has been happening? Any other news?”

The moment had passed. Cliff wondered glumly if he’d ever be able to express to Kai just how much he meant to him.

They spoke for a while, until Cliff ran out of change and the phone cut out. Holding the receiver wistfully in one hand, he wiped a bittersweet tear from the corner of his eye. Kai cared deeply for him, that much was evident even through the dark lens of his self-doubt…

But the days between then and the first day of summer seemed endless; he couldn’t comprehend possibly having enough distractions to fill them with. Even with the promise of a new job, even with Ann and Carter’s kindness, he was still only treading water in a perilously stormy sea. Kai was the rope to pull him up to the safety of a lifeboat; he could only keep treading water for so long.


	5. Chapter 5

The crunchy orange leaves and heavy autumn showers gave way to short, dark days and a cold blanket of snow fell all over Mineral Town. Cliff spoke to Kai on the phone as often as he could – that is, as often as he could muster the courage to pick up the receiver and dial the number he’d already memorised by heart – but there was a quiet emptiness just below the surface, and he stumbled through most of his days feeling lost and detached.

Duke had kept him on at the winery past the harvest, and he’d been helping with all stages of the brewing and refining processes. Although he was constantly afraid of making some terrible mistake that would render the entire batch undrinkable, Duke was relentlessly encouraging – particularly towards the end of the day, when he’d “tested” a few glasses – and he enjoyed the work well enough. It was something to do, something to focus on, and it turned out that there was a lot for him to learn about the art of brewing.

The first time that it snowed hard, Duke told him to take the day off and stay safe inside the inn. Snowstorms were dangerous in these parts, he warned.

Cliff spent the morning in bed, catching up on the sleep he’d missed out on during the restless night prior, but the bright white light from the window made it hard to rest for long. The need for some air and a change of scenery finally compelled him to get up and into yesterday’s crumpled clothes, then head downstairs.

“Where are you going?” exclaimed Ann, leaping to her feet as he made his way towards the door. She’d been sitting with Doug playing a card game, and her hand was now scattered over the table where she’d dropped it in her haste.

“I just… Outside?” Cliff pretended not to hear the howl of the wind through the door.

“Are you _trying_ to make yourself ill?” Ann demanded. She stomped over to him, then gestured towards the table nearest to the door. “Jeez, if you’re so desperate for a blast of icy winter air, sit here and I’ll open the window a crack.”

Cliff dropped onto a stool, staring listlessly towards the door. His hand reached out instinctively towards the delicate silver ash tray on the table, and his fingers began to trace restlessly over the pretty engravings of pink cat flowers.

“I don’t know what winters are like where you’re from,” said Ann, sitting down next to him, “but the snowstorms here are no joke.”

“Duke said the same,” Cliff mumbled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” He exhaled slowly, wondering how many times he’d said those exact words over his lifetime.

“It’s nice to get the day off, though, when the weather’s bad.” Ann smiled. “It’s often so busy around here I barely get time to speak to my dad, let alone spend any quality time together.”

“I never knew my father,” said Cliff quietly. “I’d give anything to spend an afternoon playing cards with my mother, but she’s long gone, and my sister… What I mean is, you’re lucky to get that opportunity, even if it’s only during storms.”

Ann’s smile had faded, to be replaced with an expression of concern. “Sure you don’t want to join us?”

Cliff shook his head with a weak smile. “I think I’m going to make a phone call.”

“Kai?”

Cliff nodded. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my family today for some reason… I think I could use the distraction.”

“The offer’s open,” said Ann with a shrug. She looked back over her shoulder, to see Doug shuffling the cards far too intently for someone who wasn’t eavesdropping. “I’d better get back to the game, I guess.”

“Thank you, Ann.” Cliff finally forced his fingers to keep still, and pressed the ash tray firmly back down on the table. Sighing, he stood up and glanced over at the phone, digging through his pocket for change.

He usually opted to call Kai at busier times, so that his voice blended into the general buzz of activity and nobody could make out his words clearly. Ann was still the only one who knew the exact nature of his relationship with Kai and he was terrified of Doug overhearing, but it was either call Kai, slowly go insane in his bedroom, or risk the dangerous weather to wander outside.

Willing his legs to stop trembling beneath him, he slowly made his way to the phone and lifted the receiver. Doug and Ann were busy examining each other’s poker faces, busy enough not to hear too much. He poked a few coins into the slot and dialled the number.

_Ring ring…_

_Ring ring…_

_Ring ring…_

Tapping his foot impatiently, he let the phone ring for nearly five minutes before giving up. Full of frustrated rage, he had to hold his own hand back so as not to slam the damn receiver down hard enough to break the phone.

“Fuck it,” he muttered to himself, and stalked across the bar and out into the snow, ignoring Ann’s incredulous protests.

*

By the time the storm settled down, Cliff had been outside on the pier for hours and the cold had penetrated him right to the bone. He remembered the old photograph he kept in his wallet, the photograph of his family from before he left. It was snowing that day too…

Tired, shivering violently, he began to walk back towards the inn. He stepped into the square and looked up at the snowflakes as they softly fell, twirled through them. He realised for the first time how thoroughly frozen he was. The snow was so thick on the ground he couldn’t tell which way he was supposed to be going. He took a couple of shaky steps forward, then everything went black.

*

He was somewhere else. It was warm, and there was a faint sound of hushed voices drifting into his ears. There was a soft beeping sound next to him, and when he tried to move his hand there was something sticking out of it. His head was pounding in the harsh light, but eventually he managed to come to his senses enough to recognise the clinic. Groaning, he closed his eyes again.

“He’s still in here,” came Elli’s gentle voice.

“He dropped this photo. Will he be…?”

Cliff’s eyes flickered open. His vision was blurry, but he could see a man standing next to Elli. “Kai? Kai, is that you?” he murmured. “I… I lo-”

“It’s me, Pete,” said the man, quickly interrupting whatever words were on the tip of Cliff’s tongue.

His heart sank. Of course it wouldn’t have been Kai. It was the middle of fucking winter.

“I found you in the square and brought you here, but I forgot to return your photo.”

“My family… that’s right.” Cliff’s eyes closed, and he laughed mirthlessly. He felt his eyes prickle with tears, and an incoherent jumble of sentences tumbled out of his mouth as he drifted in and out of consciousness for a while, before sleep overcame him once more.

*

Cliff finally woke up with enough strength to go home four days later. Exhausted, ashamed, he trudged his way back through the snow towards the inn, dreading his inevitable run-in with Ann.

As it happened, Doug was the one who cornered him as he tried to sneak through the bar.

“Cliff…” He grimaced. “Ann’s been horribly worried about you these past few days. She’s just in the kitchen now baking some cake – please, go and let her know that you’re out of hospital. It would mean a lot to her.”

Cliff bowed his head, but he knew that Doug was right. “Alright. I will.”

Doug placed a gentle hand on Cliff’s shoulder. “If ever you need either of us, by the way, and we’re not in the public areas of the inn, you’re welcome to come into our home.”

Sniffing, Cliff nodded. “Th-thank you,” he stammered, avoiding Doug’s gaze.

Ann was in the kitchen, just as Doug had said, and was covered almost head to toe in flour and cocoa powder. She started at the sight of Cliff, dropping her whisk with a long chain of swear words.

“I-I’m sorry. I can go…” Cliff began, but Ann shook her head with a wide smile.

“I’m so glad you’re feeling better,” she said, rushing over and almost flooring him with a floury hug. “I was angry that you ignored my warning like that, but I don’t care anymore. You’re safe, and that’s what matters.” She squeezed him so tight he could barely breathe.

Ann smelled sweet and chocolatey, like the kitchen itself, but Cliff quickly had to extricate himself as the flour in her hair began to tickle his nostrils. He turned away, sneezing three times in succession, then groaned.

“Oops,” she said. “I did kind of make a mess in here, didn’t I?”

Cliff raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, I made a _huge_ mess,” she said, with a giddy giggle. “I just wanted to make something special… It’s Winter Thanksgiving tomorrow, you know.”

“Winter… what?”

“Girls are supposed to make cake for the people they like.” Ann blushed slightly. “I made you a little something… I thought it might cheer you up when you woke up.” She hesitated, then reached out to the countertop, grabbing a single chocolate cupcake with an enormous swirl of frosting on top. “Part of me was afraid you _wouldn’t_ wake up. I told myself that if I made you something, maybe the well wishes would get through to you somehow. Here, you can have it early, I suppose.”

Cliff took the cupcake from her with a small smile. His stomach rumbled loudly, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten in days.

“Thanks Ann. I really appreciate it.” He caught sight of the rest of the cupcakes, neatly arranged in a heart-shaped tin. “Who are all those for?”

Cliff had never seen the colour rush to Ann’s face so quickly. Blushing furiously, she said, “Actually, those are for Popuri… But don’t tell my father, okay?”

He smiled. “Your secret’s safe with me, Ann. Thanks again for the cupcake.”

*

The following morning, Cliff woke up to Ann’s jaunty knock on his bedroom door, announcing that there was a parcel for him. He dragged himself out of bed, and leaned out of his room to find a small brown parcel on the floor, tied together with colourful string. He recognised the handwriting immediately, and he lips spread into a wide grin.

There was just enough time to open it before he left for work. He carefully untied the string and put it aside, before peeling back the paper. Inside was a small, slightly squashed cupcake in a cardboard box, along with a hastily-written note.

_Happy Winter Thanksgiving Cliff!_

_Love, Kai._

_P.S. I hope it didn’t get too squashed in transit._


	6. Chapter 6

Although Cliff got back to work immediately after recovering in the clinic, the exposure to the cold had left him weakened, with a nasty, hacking cough that seemed to last for nearly the whole winter. Duke tried to ply him with whiskey sometimes – he’d say it was good for the throat, then drink a generous glass himself and forget all about giving any to Cliff – but he mostly got on with things as best he could.

“You shouldn’t be out in the cold like that,” Ann would scold him every time she caught him standing outside the inn, most often without a coat. Cliff took the exponential increase in her bossiness as a sign that they were becoming solid friends, that she genuinely cared, but it still got to him more than he liked to admit.

The longer the winter dragged on, the harder it was for him to get up each morning, and the more he longed for Kai’s return. It already felt like an age since that last day of summer, but he was only just over halfway through their separation. The days ahead still stretched out unfathomably far.

One particularly cold day, he stopped off at the church after work and shared a meal with Carter – or rather, Carter had made “too much stew” again and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“I’m pleased you seem to be enjoying your new job so much,” said Carter as he mopped up his bowl with a slice of bread.

“But?” Cliff prompted, before another coughing fit took hold.

“I still worry about you.”

Cliff raised an eyebrow and took a drink of water, hoping to quell the itching in his throat.

“There are times that I see a real sparkle of happiness inside you, but more often you look troubled, vacant, as though your spirit is somewhere else.”

Cliff coughed again, then groaned. His eyes watered and his chest ached, and as he watched Carter pour himself another glass of water, he decided that lying about it wasn’t worth the effort.

“It is,” he said softly. “Or at least… Part of it is.”

Carter nodded, with his hands resting on the table in front of him. His expression was mild, unjudging, but there was a little twinkle in his eye that betrayed his interest. Mineral Town was indeed populated by gossips and chatterboxes, but as the priest he got all the juiciest details and couldn’t help feeling fascinated by it all at times.

“I haven’t really told anyone this, but over the summer Kai and I…”

Carter nodded again, suppressing a smile. He’d heard all about Kai every Sunday that summer from a hurt and confused Popuri, though of course he’d never have mentioned that to Cliff. Everything he heard in that confessional was strictly confidential, regardless of how juicy it might be.

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, Carter.”

“You must really be missing him.”

Cliff nodded, fiddling with his now empty glass. “I wish I could tell him how much he means to me, but every time I try I just choke up. I don’t call as often as I should either, because I’m constantly terrified that he’ll have realised that I’m not worth waiting for and he’ll hang up on me.”

“Hmm.” Carter regarded him thoughtfully for a moment, gently wringing his hands. “Well, it’s easier for me to say than for you to believe, but you _are_ a good person, Cliff. You’ve done a lot of good for me here at the church, and by extension everyone else in Mineral Town. The people of this town rely on the church for a place of sanctuary and community – I really appreciate all your help, as do the others.”

Cliff set the glass down and began drumming his fingers on the table instead.

“My point is… There’s a reason Kai chose to spend so much time with you last summer. I hope in time that you’ll have the confidence to acknowledge that.”

“Thanks, Carter.” Cliff coughed again and sighed. “I guess I should go and get some rest if I ever want to shake this cold.” He stood up slowly, sides aching as he coughed again. “I’ll see you soon.”

The priest rose and hurried to open the door. “Look after yourself. _Please_.”

With a curt nod, Cliff headed out through the church and into the chilly winter’s evening, but he didn’t turn right towards the inn. He carried straight on through the square and onto the beach, then went to sit on the pier in the exact spot he’d sat on his birthday over two seasons ago.

It was a calm night, and dazzlingly clear. The moon was nearly full and cast a bright, silvery light over the snowy beach. The twinkling stars were just as breathtaking as they had been the night before Kai left; Cliff sighed wistfully at the thought.

That wasn’t the only night they’d spent on the beach together – wasn’t even the best or most beautiful, though it certainly wasn’t the worst. Cliff grimaced to himself as he remembered the time Karen had come onto the beach for one of her late night strolls. It was only the third time he’d met with Kai, and the initial passion of their first meeting had given way to something a little more self-conscious, somewhere in no-man’s land between a one night stand and something… more.

There had been a cool breeze that evening, for which Cliff was grateful. Neither the cold nor the heat seemed to suit him all that well, but at least the sun hadn’t made him ill. He remembered watching Kai brush away the sand that had blown onto his clothes and wondering why he felt so shy, too shy even to reach out and touch him.

His cheeks had flushed a deep red as he remembered the previous night, where he’d had to bite down on his own fingers to muffle the increasingly loud, whining breaths as Kai thrusted into him. He hadn’t been shy when he’d let Kai tear off his clothes and push him, naked, onto the bed. Nor had he been shy when he’d pressed a tub of lube into Kai’s hand and practically begged him to release the wild, aching tension that had built up between them.

It was strange that there on the beach, fully-dressed, he felt more vulnerable than ever.

Kai reached out and closed his tanned hand over Cliff’s; the sudden, gentle touch sent a jolt of electricity up Cliff’s arm, and he blushed again. Finding the courage to meet Kai’s serious, brown eyes, he smiled uncertainly.

“You look so nervous.” One of Kai’s fingers tapped playfully on his nose. “Is something the matter?”

Cliff shook his head. “I don’t know why I’m so…” More images of the previous night flashed through his mind; his lips curled into a smile and he laughed, shaking his head. “Especially after…”

Kai stuck out his tongue – the tongue that, roughly twenty-four hours ago, had been enthusiastically lapping at the leaking head of his cock. Cliff shivered slightly at the memory of it.

“I’d be surprised if the whole town didn’t hear you.”

Kai grinned, and leaned closer. Cliff’s pulse quickened as Kai slowly moved towards him, until their faces were nearly touching and the heat radiating from Kai’s body triggered a cascade of desire within him. The conflict between his own shyness and wanting Kai to devour him was painful, almost intolerable. A small whimper escaped him; with a smirk, Kai closed the space between their lips.

He allowed Kai’s weight to sink into him, lying back in the warm sand as he snatched shallow breaths between desperate kisses. The involuntary grinding movements Kai’s body elicited felt far too hot and heavy for such a public place, but he didn’t care enough to put a stop to it.

Finally, Kai drew back, propped himself up and looked down at a panting Cliff.

“See, there’s no need to be shy.”

Still breathless, Cliff stammered, “S-sometimes I want you so much… it’s terrifying.”

Kai traced a warm hand over Cliff’s thigh and up towards the waistband of his trousers. “I can tell,” he said, grinning as Cliff visibly trembled at his touch.

Just as Kai began to lean down again, there was a squeal from the direction of the steps leading up to the square. Cliff sat bolt upright while Kai jumped a couple of feet back; they both turned just in time to see Karen picking herself up from the floor.

“It’s dark,” she said sheepishly, then took a step forward and nearly collapsed again, swearing to herself.

Cliff glanced at Kai, then called, “Are you okay?”

Kai had already got up and was jogging over to her.

“I must have twisted my ankle,” she said, her face scrunched up in obvious pain.

Kai muttered something under his breath, then grimaced apologetically at Cliff. “We’ll help you get home.”

“I don’t need…” Karen tried to take another step, and yelped again. “Ugh, okay, okay… Maybe I do. Thank you.”

Kai motioned for Cliff to stand on her other side, and together they slowly managed to get Karen back across town to the supermarket in what must have been the most disappointing ending to a beach date in the entirety of Mineral Town’s long history.

“Well, that didn’t go to plan,” said Kai, before landing a quick peck on Cliff’s cheek.

Cliff raised his eyebrows, glancing nervously towards the dark windows of the supermarket.

“Nobody saw, don’t you worry.” Kai winked. “Besides, even if Karen saw anything, I doubt she’ll remember tomorrow.”

Cliff only sighed quietly in response. Kai’s fingers intertwined with his.

“Look… I know that I come across as quite confident at times, but you’re not the only one who’s been feeling nervous tonight.”

“Oh?”

They began to walk down the cobbled road towards the inn, both apparently having given up on the beach.

“I’ve been thinking a lot,” said Kai carefully. “About you, about myself, and about… this.” He punctuated the last word with a squeeze of Cliff’s hand.

“Oh?” Cliff inwardly cringed. Why didn’t he have anything else to say?

“Whatever _this_ is, I’m liking it a lot,” he said. “We don’t have to put a label on anything – now or ever – but I just wanted you to know that these past few days have been wonderful.”

Cliff blinked. The fiery desire that had been all but extinguished by their unexpected detour suddenly came back with a vengeance; he caught even himself off guard by grabbing Kai’s shirt and pulling him into a deep kiss.

They hadn’t wasted much time in getting up to Cliff’s room after that.

On the icy pier, Cliff wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, unsure if it was happy or bittersweet. Sure, Karen had inadvertently ruined a beautiful moment on the beach, but if that was his worst date with Kai, he felt incredibly lucky.

A sudden, queasy sadness rippled through him, and the hot tears that came to his eyes this time seemed endless. How long could he keep doing this, going through the motions of living each day with only the ghosts of the summer to keep him going?

Between shaking sobs, he gasped for breath and began to cough. His body nearly doubled over as his aching chest seized into a choking coughing fit. By the time it calmed, he was dizzy and exhausted; it was enough to make even him think that he should take better care of himself.

Ann’s bossiness, Carter’s relentless supply of food, Duke’s never-materialising offers of whiskey… People loved and cared about him. He knew that on some level.

But why wasn’t it enough?

Why wasn’t he happy?

He wondered if he would ever be happy in Mineral Town – if he ever _could_ be happy there. Perhaps he needed a fresh start – another fresh start, somewhere that didn’t get so horribly cold in the winter, somewhere he could just erase the past and build himself up from scratch. He’d be better off, and the people that cared about him would be better off too… They’d no longer have to worry all the time.

He stared listlessly out towards the sea as his thoughts spiralled into darkness, but then he smiled softly to himself as another memory from that date came to mind.

Lying back on the bed, breathing hard, with his hot, sweaty limbs entwined with Kai’s, he’d allowed a wistful sigh to slip through his defences. Kai was still for a moment, then said, “It’s funny… I almost can’t remember what this place was like without you in it. You feel like you belong here, probably more than I do… You make it feel like home.”

Cliff’s eyes were determined as he stood up, looking out across the calm, icy waters. He’d made it this far, stuck this town out for nearly a whole year, and he wasn’t going to give up without a struggle.

“I can do this,” he whispered to himself.


	7. Chapter 7

Cliff stayed up all night on New Year’s Eve. After sharing a quick drink with Ann and Doug, he headed up to the summit of Mother’s Hill to watch the sunrise and try to join in with the festivities – it was mostly the sunrise he went for, though, and he kept to himself for most of the night. He sat right on the edge of the peak, dangling his legs over the side, gazing off into the distant countryside before him.

He thought over the year he’d spent in Mineral Town. The loneliness, the self-doubt, those horrible restless nights held hostage by his own thoughts… There were a lot of bad memories, but there was good in there too. Not just Kai, but Ann, Doug, Carter, Duke, and even that farmer Pete, who’d stopped by with snacks and medicinal herbs a few times since that unfortunate incident in Rose Square. He had _friends_ now, and a job – a life. As the first rays of the new dawn crept over the horizon and bathed him in hopeful light, the heaviness in his heart melted away for a moment.

He ended up falling asleep up there some time in the morning, and didn’t wake up until it was nearly dark again and he’d missed all of the New Year’s celebrations for the day.

*

“They look great, Cliff,” said Ann with a wide smile.

Cliff raised a dubious eyebrow, and prodded at one of the misshapen chocolate cookies on the cooling rack in front of him.

“I hope they taste better than they look,” he said, trying desperately not to compare them to Ann’s perfectly-shaped batch cooling next to his.

“They look… homemade,” Ann tried again. “Even if they tasted _awful,_ I’m sure Kai would appreciate the effort.”

“Was that supposed to be reassuring?” Cliff asked, scowling.

Ann’s cheeks flushed pink, and she sighed softly. “You should really stop being so hard on yourself.” She turned around, opened one of the cupboards on the wall, then stretched up onto her tiptoes to reach the same heart-shaped cake tin she’d used for Winter thanksgiving on the top shelf. “You’re making _me_ nervous now.”

“Did you ever get round to telling your father about Popuri?”

Ann shook her head as she inspected the cake tin for dirt. “Not yet… He knows we’re close, but not _that_ close, you know? I don’t know if he’d approve.”

Cliff was both glad that he didn’t have to worry about such things, and deeply saddened by the fact. He didn’t know what to say – there was nothing he _could_ say to make it easier for Ann – but he had to say _something_.

“You’re lucky to have a father who loves you so much, Ann. Whether he approves or not… he’ll always support you, I’m sure of it.”

Her cheeks darkened again. “Thank you,” she said quietly, then quickly got to work arranging the cookies in the tin.

“Damn, I’ll be back in a moment – I just realised I left Kai’s address up in my room.”

Cliff barrelled through the kitchen door into the bar, then dashed upstairs, leaving a noticeable trail of flour behind him as it dropped off his clothes.

The piece of paper with Kai’s address on it was kept in the chest of drawers next to his bed. He tore open the top drawer and patted his hand around the bottom, but he found nothing except a copy of the holy book, a corkscrew, a box of matches and a few odd socks. Heart pounding, he looked again. He flicked through the holy book so roughly one of the pages tore, but it wasn’t in there either.

“Shit. _Shit_.”

He tried the other drawers – opening them frantically, ransacking them, then slamming them shut – but to no avail.

“How could I have _lost_ it?” he roared, kicking the stupid chest of drawers, as though it was the one at fault. Eyes stinging with tears of frustration, he flopped down onto his bed.

Moments later, there was a timid knock at the door.

“What?”

There was a pause. “I-is everything okay?” came Ann’s concerned voice from the corridor.

Cliff’s gut instinct was to lie, to snap that everything was _fine_ , but he stopped himself just before opening his mouth.

“I heard a lot of banging… I was worried,” Ann continued.

Cliff closed his eyes, massaging his temple, then rose slowly to his feet. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble.” He walked towards the door, carefully forcing himself not to stomp like a child, then slowly opened it a crack. “I guess I made those cookies for nothing after all.”

Sticking her foot between the heavy wooden door and its frame, Ann frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve lost his address,” Cliff said simply. “I suppose… At least he won’t have to see how badly I screwed them up.” There were tears running freely down his cheeks, but he did nothing to acknowledge them.

Ann pushed the door open a little further. “Do you want me to help you look?”

He shook his head. “What’s the point? Maybe it’s a sign…”

Ann bit her lip in awkward sympathy, then suddenly brightened. “Oh, just a moment!”

Cliff went back to his bed, and sat down heftily, causing all the springs to creak as the mattress sagged beneath him. The spring so far had been good to him; he should have known that it wouldn’t last.

Quick, rhythmic footsteps echoed through the corridor, and then the door flew open. “Here…” Ann panted, holding out a handwritten note on yellow, flowery paper.

“What’s-” Cliff felt warm relief flood through him as he remembered a conversation they’d had back in winter, when he’d dropped the piece of paper by the phone. An enormous smile spread across his features, and he leapt up and snatched it happily from her hand.

“It’s a good job you asked me to take a copy of the address, isn’t it?” Ann grinned. “Come on, let’s get those cookies packed up and ready to post!”

*

Leaning against the bar, Cliff tried to contain the ridiculous smile breaking out on his face as he fiddled with the cord on the phone. If he’d held the receiver away from his ear, there would have been a visible speech bubble above it containing a sweet pink heart.

“They were seriously some of the best cookies I’ve ever tasted!”

Cliff cleared his throat, blushing furiously. “Y-you know I’m not good with compliments.”

He could hear Kai’s smirk in the tone of his voice as he replied, “Yeah, I know. But I really mean it.”

“I’m glad they arrived safely.” Cliff glanced over his shoulder, far too aware that Doug had been polishing the same glass for about five minutes now as he nonchalantly pretended not to overhear. “Kai, I…” He scrunched his eyes shut. _Do it. Tell him._ “Kai, I’m really looking forward to the end of the season.” _So close, and yet…_

“Me too. Hey, Cliff – I’ve already arranged my travel, and I’ll arrive at the beach sometime in the early evening on the last day of spring. I’d love nothing more than if you could meet me there.”

Cliff was positively glowing as he agreed.

*

When the last day of spring finally arrived, Cliff found all of his nerves and uncertainties had returned with a vengeance. He went to work as usual, and even a moderately-drunk Duke picked up on his jittery mood. Of course, his solution was to offer Cliff a generous glass or three of wine, two of which were respectfully declined – but by the time the clock struck three, Cliff had worked himself up into such a state that _anything_ that might calm him down was gratefully received.

“I’ll get you to appreciate the good stuff one day,” said Duke with a wink, as Cliff grimaced after taking too large a sip from his glass.

Thankfully work passed relatively quickly, despite the awful churning in his stomach, and he left quickly before Duke could offer him anything stronger.

Shortly afterwards, Ann found him leaning against the outside wall of the inn, fiddling nervously with the hem of his shirt and staring upwards into the clear, blue sky.

“I always find you here when there’s something on your mind…” she said, before taking a cloth to one of the picnic benches by the window. A season’s worth of grime quickly stained the cloth an unappealing grey.

“He’s coming back today. I said I’d meet him.”

Ann frowned at the flatness in his tone. “Aren’t you excited?”

“I think so?” Cliff exhaled slowly. “Either that, or I’m terrified. Talking to him on the phone was one thing, but what if…” He shook his head. “I know I shouldn’t be thinking these things, but it’s hard not to.”

Ann tilted her head to one side, smiling sympathetically. “I get it, I really do. But in a few hours when you see him again, I have every bit of faith that you’ll be wondering what you were so worried about.”

Cliff nodded decisively. “You’re right.”

“Oh, hey, want to see something exciting?” Ann said, dropping the dirty cloth then quickly turning her head to make sure they were alone.

“Exciting?”

Ann looked as though she could have burst as she reached into the front pocket of her dungarees. “Look, Popuri gave me this at the springs this morning…”

Cliff’s eyes widened. “A blue feather?”

“But don’t tell anyone yet, okay? I’m going to talk to my father later.”

“Wow. Congratulations, Ann!”

Beaming, she carefully put it back into the pocket. “See, if Popuri managed to find the nerve to present me with a blue feather, you can get your ass to the beach to meet the poor guy who’s waited _three whole seasons_ to see you again.”

As Ann slipped back inside the inn with an upbeat wave, Cliff took a deep breath, then began to make his way towards the beach.

By the time he’d made his way across the square, the sun was starting to get lower in the sky, and the blue around it was turning a faint yellow. It didn’t feel quite warm enough to be summer yet, but it was comfortable enough to sit in.

Cliff sat himself down cross-legged on the sand just near the pier, and tried to convince himself he was watching the sunset rather than the ship that had appeared just on the horizon. He ran the sand through his fingers and doodled silly pictures in it, but nothing could distract him.

Finally, the ship docked, and Cliff leapt to his feet.

He watched as Kai carefully disembarked, wearing that distinctive bandana of his and carrying rather a large amount of luggage. He looked down at his feet, grinning foolishly, as Kai began to walk up the pier towards him.

When he finally dared look back up, Kai was right in front of him. His eyes scanned the familiar face that he’d missed so terribly all year, coming to settle on Kai’s lips. He opened his mouth to say something, but with no script, he couldn’t find any words. He leaned forward, grabbed the knot of the bandana and pulled Kai into a passionate kiss.

He was met with no resistance.

As Kai pulled him closer and closer, until there was no space between them at all, he felt three seasons’ worth of longing crash down upon him. As he drew panting breaths between Kai’s enthusiastic kisses, four words slipped through his lips.

“I love you, Kai.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this update took forever... Apologies!

**Author's Note:**

> I intend to update this fairly regularly until I finish - hopefully weekly if I have time.


End file.
